Mechanically Separated Chicken.

Saturday, May 18, 2002

Awkward Retail Conversations.

Customer: What's this shiraz like? Easy to drink?
Me: Absolutely. As opposed to this one here [indicates different wine], which is extremely difficult to drink.
Customer: Really?
Me: Yes. Because, you see, it's a solid.
Me: Solid wine.
Me: Kinda like a salt-lick.

Customer: ... So yeah, the council's totally irresponsible when it comes to building permits. The new block of units they're building next to our house is going to overlook our back yard. With balconies. I'm worried about lack of privacy most of all.
Me: Yeah, we've got the same deal where I live too.
Customer: I mean, it's not that we wander around the garden naked or anything, but still...
Customer's nine-year-old-daughter: Yes we do! We do all the time!
Me: We do too. Or, we did, until we realised people could see us.
Customer: [looks at nine-year-old daughter, then at me] Hrm.

Customer: [points at wine] What's this wine like? Is it terrible?
Me: Yes.
Customer: What?
Me: Yes, it's terrible.
Me: Also, it's poisonous.

Customer: Is this vodka?
Me: No, actually it's wine.
Customer: Aaaah. Is it made from vodka?
Me: No, wine's made from grapes, whereas vodka's made from grain or something, I think. Vodka's a spirit.
Customer: Aaaah. Is this vodka?
Me: No, that's wine too. In fact, we only sell wine. The pub on the corner has a bottle shop though, if you're looking for spirits.
Customer: Aaaaah. Is this vodka?
Me: No, that's wine as well.
Customer: This? Is this vodka?
Me: No, that's wine. It's all wine. We only sell wine.
Customer: Vodka?
Me: No.
Customer: This?
Me: No.
Customer: Vod...
Me: No.
Customer: Hm.
Me: Hm.
Customer: ...
Me: ...
Customer: Is it brandy?
Me: No, it's not brandy.
Customer: Is it made from brandy?