Welly.

The smoking gun has an impressive list of entertaining backstage riders requested by various performers, from Moby to Prince to Kenny G. There are some gems to be found, ranging from the reasonable (like Sting and Beck) to Cher's wig room and the ten different salad dressings David Copperfield wants on hand at all times.

And hey, here's a tip: if Brian Wilson or indeed anyone from the Beach Boys approaches you with a cigarette and asks you for a light, whatever you do, make sure your lighter's "NOT GREEN!"

In other news, a new eatery called 'A Clockwork Cafe' has just opened up a few doors down from where I work, and considering that the artwork for their sign is totally ripped off from the 'Clockwork Orange' movie poster, I'm greatly disappointed by the lack of nadsat menu items. No moloko. No milk plus. No mounch-plates or eggyweg sandwiches. No 'red red vino'. Not even a fucking "chicken focaccia with rocket, sundried tomatoes and lashings of the old ultra-violence."

Never mind. I shall distract myself with these unusual fortune cookies. Apparently they're all real. Even this one. And this one.