Mechanically Separated Chicken.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

I'm Not Alive.

Hey baby. What've you, uhm, been up to?

Right, right. Yeah, me too. Real busy, y'know how it is. Well, first I had to go on tour with the Billy Corgan Poetry Roadshow, giving him enunciation training and packing his mouth with dry ice between readings. Then I fell off a ladder while polishing the smoke alarm, plus the phone got disconnected so I had to communicate with the outside world using only my pheromones. Which was pretty exhausting, and frankly I don't think my glands have had a workout like that for ages.

So yeah. Nice to see you.

In other news, my housemate, K, stuck his head out of a first floor window yesterday and when he looked down, he saw Nicholas Cage and crew filming 'Ghost Rider' in a Melbourne alleyway. Highlights apparently included watching Nicholas ostentatiously 'prepare' for his role between scenes: chanting 'I'm NOT ALIVE! I'm NOT ALIVE! I'm NOT ALIVE!' (the titular character of 'Ghost Rider', for those who don't know, isn't alive) and loudly singing the intro to 'Surf Safari' by the Beach Boys between takes. K shared a clandestine eye-rolling moment with a member of the crew before leaving Mr Cage to it (where 'it' equals getting your wig fluffed by an assistant). Wish I'd been there. Lucky bastard.


Blogger Ivy said...

Yay! You're alive!

8:26 PM

Anonymous NewFrontiersman said...

Godspeed, HSG! If you be my ladle, can I be your crouton?

10:48 PM

Blogger Lumpen said...

Hey HSG,
Thank fuck you posted. I also saw Mr Cage.

You should come to the Bite #2 party. Forgive the spam.

: : BITE #2 LAUNCH, this Saturday, APRIL 30 : :
The Hope Street Warehouse,
Vic. Australia.

*The New Black*
Bite #2 is being launched and we want you to enjoy some dirty pop and heavy petting. Come dressed as the tragically hip, the actually hip or – like most people will be – all in black.
Door charge: a measly $5.
Featuring: the DJ tag team of Red Light Disco, cage dancing, ex-Daggy Disco DJs, a little bit of random cabaret & circus performance, lots of booty, pashing & cheap booze. And, of course, the WORLD PREMIER of Bite #2.

Bite #2 Articles
Interviews with:
*Morty Diamond, director of cutting-edge FTM porn 'Trannyfags.'
*Sista Moody on race in Australian porn & queer scene,
*Marrickville Jelly Wrestling Federation wrestlers,
*MC Katastrophe.
There are also articles on hip hop, some fascist bastards, the asylum process for homos, a report on Queeruption 7, a comic by Kieran Mangan and a poster Arlene TextaQueen.
It's 16 pages of blue and black goodness, totally ad free. And it costs nothing.
bite at

2:53 AM

Blogger JG said...

so nice. nice to see.... hmm nice to meet you ;))

11:50 PM

Blogger Stephen Eli Harris said...

It's awesome that Nic was spotted being a silly actor boy.

"I'm not alive"? Sheesh. What a weinie. I still have faith in him for the roll though.

10:40 PM

Blogger Lorika said...

Hey, I like your style! And no this is not spam, I found you from Sharyn at Mass Distraction.

8:16 AM

Anonymous shauny said...


and hurrah, you're here!

7:15 AM

Blogger Kevin Charnas said...

That was god-damn funny! Aaahhh...thanks for the big belly laughs. Not that I have one, but that's beside the point.

5:30 AM

Blogger eula_w said...

You should be very careful when you are on a ladder. Thanks for the laugh too.

human pheromones

12:37 PM


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