I'm Not Alive.

Hey baby. What've you, uhm, been up to?

Right, right. Yeah, me too. Real busy, y'know how it is. Well, first I had to go on tour with the Billy Corgan Poetry Roadshow, giving him enunciation training and packing his mouth with dry ice between readings. Then I fell off a ladder while polishing the smoke alarm, plus the phone got disconnected so I had to communicate with the outside world using only my pheromones. Which was pretty exhausting, and frankly I don't think my glands have had a workout like that for ages.

So yeah. Nice to see you.

In other news, my housemate, K, stuck his head out of a first floor window yesterday and when he looked down, he saw Nicholas Cage and crew filming 'Ghost Rider' in a Melbourne alleyway. Highlights apparently included watching Nicholas ostentatiously 'prepare' for his role between scenes: chanting 'I'm NOT ALIVE! I'm NOT ALIVE! I'm NOT ALIVE!' (the titular character of 'Ghost Rider', for those who don't know, isn't alive) and loudly singing the intro to 'Surf Safari' by the Beach Boys between takes. K shared a clandestine eye-rolling moment with a member of the crew before leaving Mr Cage to it (where 'it' equals getting your wig fluffed by an assistant). Wish I'd been there. Lucky bastard.