Mechanically Separated Chicken.

Monday, February 11, 2002

Work is, needless to say, not very interesting.

Today, I spent close to half an hour flipping through a Harvey Norman's whitegood catalogue, wherein I found thirty-two full-colour glossy photographs of refrigerators. Big, white, backlit refrigerators, as clean and perfect as the afterlife. Each fridge is crammed with a wide assortment of food, as an illustration of the things one might like to put inside if one bought it for oneself. What intrigued me, however, is that no two fridges contain the same arrangement.

The following items can be observed:

1. Crab on glass plate, encircled by gherkins.
2. Coleslaw topped with hoola-hoop of bright orange prawns.
3. Mango slices tossed with tiny lobster things. Huge, black dangling eyes on stalks.
4. Okra.
5. Glass bowl filled with what look like small blue and white translucent spheres. I have no idea what these are. Robot snacks, perhaps? Novelty pickled onions?

There are recurring themes in the fridge contents: wine, juice, fruit and vegetables, boutique beer and cheese feature prominently. However, the catalogue features no item twice; for example, nineteen fridges contain at least one bottle of wine, but every single bottle is a different brand: there is no 'doubling up' of produce. One fridge is loaded with oranges, another with melons, another with capsicums. Three fridges feature pumpkins, hence, three different varieties of pumpkin. The work involved! This catalogue had been given the sort of attention to detail hitherto unseen outside a Stanley Kubrick film.

However. There is an exception.

In four fridges, two leeks can be spotted crossed elegantly over each another, like Grace Kelly's legs. And I'm sure they're the same pair of leeks in each shot.

What's the significance? Well, I'm not sure. Yet. But I am working on a theory involving crop-dusters, freon gas and Alan Turing. I'll let you know when more information comes to hand.

Now, let me get back to this Ikea catalogue. I think the Hansjorensen Adjustable Chrome Shaving Mirror is a clue of some kind...