Now, I ain't gonna get all sombre and apologetic. And I ain't gonna throw my arms around you and start blubbering about how sorry I am not to have spoken to you for weeks and weeks and how I've been carrying a photo of you around in my wallet (the one where you look like crazy old Boris Yeltsin even more than usual) and how I take it out and look at it when I'm sitting in the toilet cubicle at work. Okay? I just ain't. Picture me slapping you on the back, that'll do, and handing you a twenty so you can go get us both a beer or something. I've missed you. What? No, I didn't say anything, it must have been that guy. That guy over there. That's the guy.
Anyway. There's a whole buncha things I've neglected to tell you about, as you can imagine. I don't have time to spill them all now but one thing you have to do is go visit Cordite. I know, I know, you don't usually read online poetry magazines because they're jam packed with rhyming couplets about endangered marsupials. Understood. But this issue is all about - get this - zombies.
Also, Buffy the vampire slayer and Sarah Connor, and the removal of Phar Lap's heart.
There's a review of Undead (the new Australian zombie extravaganza) written by my esteemed housemate Dr Mangan, as well as an interview with the film's directors, conducted by my friend, international pop superstar Davey Dreamnation.
And while you're there, check out the blog: I've made an urgent plea for zombie equality, and need a few more signatures on the petition.